Saturday, April 12, 2014

Peringatan..

Peringatan yang paling berkesan untuk seorg muslim adalah kematian. Andai masih ada sedikit rasa iman di dlm hati hatta senipis kulit bawang pun, pasti hati akan terkesan bila teringatkan ttg kematian. Lately, ramai sgt org yg dekat, org yg kite kenal, org sekeliling yg pergi menghadap ilahi. Tak kira umur, atau sebab kematian, bila ia hampir, xda apa pun yg dpt menghalang.

Td isyak, lepas solat bersiap2 nk mkn kat luar, baru je siap pakai tudung and nak keluar. Berkira2 nk pakai stoking ke tidak ( it was my big challenge and struggle to be honest. Sometimes i do, the other time i didnt ). Azmizan masuk bilik ambik hp. Then dia ckp 'ayg, kuzek dah meninggal magrib td'.At that moment, i just straight away bukak almari and capai stoking. Yes, at least for me, linda sgt2 takutkn kematian. Selalu terfikir, nnt masuk dlm tanah, mcm mn ye. Nk tunggu sehingga hr akhirat tu dlm tanah lama2 , mcm mn ye. Nnt dibangkitkn dkt masyar, mcm mn ye. Syurga ke neraka ye. Yes, i am that typical!

So, bila mana dgr je ttg kematian siapa2, i do terrified. What if, linda yg pergi bkn org itu. Byk sgt fikir, solat selama lama ni yg dok buat tu, diterima ke. Bacaan tu, betul ke. Gerakan fizikal tu, menepati ke. Wuduk tu, sempurna ke. Khusyuk? Semua tu. Kdg2 ambil mudah sedangkn itu amalan pertama yg ditimbang. Belum masuk bab lain, hubungan dgn suami (pernah x perangai kite buat suami terasa hati ) , ttg aurat dan sebagainya. Org kata, when at least we do feel something like that, means Allah swt sygkn kite. Sbb kite masih ada rasa mcm tu. Hrp sgt, Allah swt sygkn diri ni.

Someone popular said this, org selalu rasa dia hebat, itu patut ditakuti. Sbb bila dia rasa dia hebat, dia xkn nk improve diri dia ke arah lebih baik dgn tuhan. And i believe, i strongly believe, seseorg tidak layak utk menghentam atau menjatuhkan hukum atau menghina org lain. Sbb kite sendiri pun xtahu, di mana tahap kite di sisi tuhan. Jgn sbb kite pakai sempurna, kite kondem org yg masih struggle utk menyempurnakan diri dia. Mmg aurat itu wajib. Itu pasti. Tp setiap kite ad struggle masing2. Mungkin kite solat sempurna dan aurat sempurna tp mungkin mulut kite selalu berkata jahat atau mencri kesalahan org lain. Atau selalu bercerita ttg org. Mungkin itu struggle kite iaitu mulut kite. Walhal, ad org lain yg masih struggle utk solat sempurna dan menutup aurat dgn sempurna, tp dia x struggle utk mulut dia. Setiap kite mempunyai struggle yg berbeza. Selagi mn kite masih fikir utk struggle mengatasi kelemahan kite, insya Allah, itu yg tuhan pandang. HambaNya yg sentiasa fikir utk perbaiki diri.

Ha, byk pulak menulis. Huhu. Mcm linda ckp td, setiap kali dgr berita ttg kematian ni, mmg akan berfikir sepanjang mlm, and bermuhasabah diri. Semoga arwah ditempatkn di tempat yg mulia, besar tanggungjawab isteri yg ditinggalkan bersama seorg anak yg berusia 4 bulan. Besar pahala si isteri yg tabah menghadapi dugaan ini....(sedihnyaaaa). Before azmizan tidur td, linda bisikkn dkt dia 'abg jgn pergi dulu sebelum ayg ye'...rasa akan tidak sekuat itu. Wallahhualam..

Strive harder ppl, may jannah be our next and forever home :)

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Azra turn 1 sooonnnn!

How time flies! Our tiny darling baby turn 1 soooonn! Start planning for her birthday. And start saving some money for the birthday too. Hehe. No more online shopping i guess for the time being. Anddddd 19 april coming veryyyy soon too. The birthday of our hero. Starting to review romantic dining everywhere. Might also end up for a short honeymoon. Haha. Ahhh, i want more baby but why i end up with cesarean before!! Huhu. What more, mm, we just come back from sabah recently. Azmizan wanted to pay for a free holiday for his parent and siblings ( which not married yet). The holiday is just another apreciation that he wanted to express to his parent. Good son this one. Hehe. Got to sleep now, because azmizan is on leave for a 3 days starting tomorrow. Meaning, our 'jalan-jalan' day. Good night and have a great days ahead :) 

                                           


Saturday, January 25, 2014

2014 :)

:) dah nak masuk february pun baru nk tulis entry awal tahun.huhu. Honestly, masa mmg tak ada. Azra tgh zaman cpt naik skrg ni.so once dia xtdo, mmg akan 100% concentrate pd dia. Sbb xnk miss moment ' first ' dia. Hihi. Skrg dia start berdiri dh. Actly, sgt2 bersyukur pertumbuhan dia agak cpt. Tp, alah, biasalah semua mak akan ckp anak dia the best kn. termasuk i la tu. Hehe. Azra 8 months now, gigi ad 2 bwh, boleh merangkak duduk dan berdiri. Membebel byk skrg. Cooperative. Responsive. Makan dah lebih kpd pepejal. Mcm biskut semua dh boleh mkn. Cuma 1 benda nk kurgkn, tgk tv. Sbb tgk dia mcm addicted sgt dgn upin ipin and mickey mouse club hse. Bila ckp addicted tu, bkn addicted org dewasa. Ni addicted baby. Cth, bila dgr je ads upin ipin, terus paling muka tgk. Or kalau tgk mickey mouse club hse tu, jd khusyuk gila. Huhu. Tu kira dh capai tahap addicted la bg linda. Hehe. Lain org xtahulah pulak. So, skrg nk try minimakn dia tgk kartun tu. Minimakan time mkn je boleh tgk tv kalau boleh. And seterusnya xbergantung langsung dgn tv. Activity flash card dia still setiap hr akan bljr. Numbers, animals, jawi. Lebih byk memanjakan dia and berbual dgn dia. Sbb research shows that, anak yg lebih bergaul dgn parent dia, have wider brain / pertumbuhan kawasan sel otak lebih besar gitu. Hehe. Actly nk cerita 1 pengalaman sgt2 berharga. But , before i wrote this, semoga tuhan pelihara tangan ini drpd menaip perkara yg akan menimbulkan riak dan jgk memelihara diri ni dr terkena prasangka buruk org lain. Amin. Weeks ago, pipi azra start timbul biji kecil kat pipi. Ad 3 biji dkt pipi kiri and pipi knn pulak warna merah2. Tak akan mungkin boleh digambarkn dgn tulisan betapa risaunya hati ni. First thing came to my mind was eczema. I remembered, ambil wuduk and solat. Sujud terakhir tu, i just let everything ( my worries ) out. I told , ya Allah please exchange  the-whatnot-pain You gave my doter to me. Im begging like no one business. I was really terrified if Azra really had an eczema ( maybe at that time i was less assure / know about eczema ) . So i start reading about eczema and all. Start asking few people. I keep blaming azmizan for had weird stuff kat lutut dia. Haha. Tu pun i claimed it was eczema. Poor husband.    At that interval of time, i learn manyyyyyy thing. How precious azra was, to me. Betapa bergantungnya diri ni pada tuhan. Betapa kesenangan selama ni menjauhkan diri sendiri dgn tuhan. I mean solat but ask our self , how perfect our solat is. Khusyuk and all. I take it for granted. Means solat just solat ( if you get what i mean) . I learn to appreaciate everything i have NOW. I learn about other ppl feeling if their kids got sick. How worried they are and how frustrated they are. I learn to be more grounded. At one point i told myself, other ppl struggling to have their own baby, but you have a baby oldo she might be sick. If she really into an eczema, other ppl kids battling their own deadly desease. So, i told myself, learn to be thankful all the time. Kalaupun anak kite sakit, anak org lain lg ad yg sakit teruk. Kalau kite xda anak, atleast kite ad suami while others dont have. Kalaupun kita xda semuanya, yg pasti kita ad Allah. I kept that positive mind all the way until semua bintik2 and merah2 tu hilang sendiri.  Alhamdulillah, the bintik gone. Seriously, i really reallyyy cant take it. I guess god knows me better. So, to my friends out there, if you really bump into something bad in life , be it sickness or whatever, know that, god knows you better. Dia xakan memberi sesuatu diluar kemampuan kite. Hold on tight on Him. Sure, He will hold you back even more tightly. Plus, learn to respect other ppl that kurg bernasib baik dr kite. Dari segala segi. Anak, kesihatan, kesenangan, kecantikan, dll yg tuhan hanya PINJAM kn shj. It is not ours pun. So, dont be too brag about that. Tuhan nk tarik, anytime, any second. I could not believe, i learn sooooo many thing in short time. Im thankful for that. To anyone undergone test, igt 1 perkara ni, kerehatan yg sebenar bkn di sini, tp di tmpt yg kekal abadi, syurga inshaAllah. Walau byk mn pun dugaan yg dtg, igtlah 1 masa nnt dugaan itu akan tamat. Krn 1 hr, dunia ni jgk akan lenyap..slmt mlm :)